Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

5 Responses to “Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers”

1. Customer says:

   April 23, 2010 at 2:19 am

   In my view, this book fails to examine the emerging scientific theories regarding the physiological causes of Narcissistic personality disorder, and does not emphasize that the narcissist is suffering from a profound mental illness with scientifically recognizable multi-factorial origins. Nor does it emphasize the need for a firm diagnoses prior to drawing a conclusion about one’s mother.

   Based on very minimal search engine research there is growing neuroscientific evidence, both in medical theory and through brain imaging studies, that the physiological causes of Narcissistic personality disorder may include genetic factors, or genetic predisposition coupled with profound sexual, physical or emotional abuse, or hurt to the various emotional centers of the brain. The causes of this hurt may include strokes, parasites, scar tissue or tumors.

   In my opinion, understanding that narcissism is a mental health issue, which at this point appears to be extremely resistant to various psychological therapies, according to some psychiatric professionals, may help relief many of the daughters of narcissistic mothers from self blame or the feeling that the daughter is somehow causing the mother’s behavior. It may also help them to let go of much of the confusing rage and blame that daughters of narcissists justifiably harbor toward their mothers.

   The book also falls fleeting in the area of offering examples of detailed ways for a daughter to effectively tell to a mother with narcissistic personality disorder, who is not physically abusive.

   It offers suggestions on no contact or limited contact but does not offer detailed coping strategies. The books underlying message appears to be mainly geared toward giving permission for having no contact with the narcissistic mother, even in cases where no physical abuse exits.

   I was hoping that this book would offer in depth guidance on how the daughter can set firm boundaries with the mother or ways that a daughter can seek a firm diagnoses for a mother they suspect of having Narcissistic Personality disorder. As well as offer detailed methods enabling the daughter to continue to interact with their mother in a productive way rather than an mad blaming manner.

   In my opinion, the book seems more geared toward women who are looking for an excuse to have no contact with a possibly mentally ill mother.

   In my view, this book may be harmful to woman attempting to find ways to heal a familial disconnect that this disorder has caused. Also the book fails to offer hope that if an emotionally abusive mother does not have Narcissistic personality disorder, then perhaps family tree counseling may help.
   Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
2. Mermaid says:

   April 23, 2010 at 3:51 am

   This book arrived in perfect condition soon after it was ordered. It is an simple read, with helpful information. I would certainly recommend it.
   Reader’s Rating: 3 / 5
3. S. Shunk says:

   April 23, 2010 at 4:24 am

   Ordering this book was a fantastic experience. Amazon did a four star job and the book is brilliant
   Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5
4. Denise says:

   April 23, 2010 at 7:12 am

   While some of the book is right on I was disappointed. I have read many online articles and establish the book to be rather dull in it’s presentation. I am the victim of a narcissistic mother. I read one article and went OH MY GOD, that’s what’s incorrect with me. As a matter of fact, I was in counseling and my counselor suggested that perhaps my mother was a narcissist. I went home and ongoing reading everything I could find on the internet concerning this mental disorder. I was astonished that my entire life was ruined by a narcissistic mother and alcoholic father.

   I am now in the process of healing and forgiving myself for all of the things that I believed were my fault. I can forgive my mother in so much as she has no clue what she has done. She now lives with me and it has been absolutely miserable. I want to use this book to detach from her and have yet to read the 3rd section. The 1st and 2nd section where Ms. McBride describes the narcissist and presents questions is done reasonably well although I feel that there is so much more to this abusive relationship. I don’t like the examples of everyone’s experiences mixed in with the text. It gets ancient quick and they don’t fit everyone.

   In my family tree I was the only child. I was told we were perfect and I believed it except for the underlying feeling that there just wasn’t something reasonably right. Also, my mother was a robot, taking care of me as if I were a piece of equipment. As the book states, from the outside everyone thought my mother was a perfect person. She hid everything, including the fact that my father was alcoholic. I was forbidden to tell. It would have ruined her image that she wanted to described to her family tree. She provided everything but like, acceptance, validation, etc. Oh, everyone told me I had such a wonderful mother. Even my father told me that my mother was so excellent that he and I should be more like her. He he never hovered over her himself, as a matter of fact he couldn’t stand her continual bantering about how wonderful she was, how nothing was her fault, how wonderful her family tree was, etc., etc., so he got drunk!!!!! Well, he was gone getting drunk and my mom was busy building her house perfect. Oh, she took me to church and shopping. All mechanical, look what I can do things. Everyone said Marie is perfect. As I got older I wanted to GAG, when I was a teenager I told my friends…my Mom and Dad give me material things but they don’t know how to like me. Boy, I guess I was right on. Now I’m a messed up mentally, emotionally and it has ruined most of my life. This has just come to light in the last year. At the age of 52 I realize why I have No self esteem, nothing. I am trying to heal, it’s not simple with her here in the house because I still seek validation that I will never get.

   I have already read most of what this book professes, but I have not read the end. If the writer took out all of the examples which are way to many of additional’s experiences and place in more factual information. I call it a lot of fluff. I reflect half of the book has to do with experiences I didn’t automatically share. That’s why I was upset with the writer. There is so much information on this theme and yes some of it was open in a thorough format. Lacking the uncomplaining examples you could have cut the book in half. Now what? I hope the 3rd part of the book helps me more than the beginning. The most amusing part of the book for me was the wife telling the spouse to place “She Tried”, on her tombstone. I have been telling my spouse that for years.

   My mother did not tell me to be a beauty queen. Very strict on weight, should not wear makeup and neither of my parents ever told me that I was gorgeous. I questioned my dad why when I was in my 20’s and he told me….We didn’t want you to be conceited. Can you imagine. I was a very attractive girl and woman and my mother has never said anything until may the last 3 years to that affect. She would never say that I was prettier than her, ever.

   I expected more and look forwards to reading the 3rd section. If it is warranted I will post another review.
   Reader’s Rating: 3 / 5
5. Andi says:

   April 23, 2010 at 7:52 am

   This book is terrific in dealing with issues about your Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, and Spouse! Helps you become a better Mother, too!
   Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5