Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
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- ISBN13: 9780743487481
- Condition: NEW
- Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
Product Description
Most parenting guides start with the question “How can we get kids to do what they’re told?” and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn starts as a replacement for by asking, “What do kids need — and how can we meet persons needs?” What follows from that question are thoughts for effective with children rather than doing things to them.
One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall fleeting. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including “time-outs”), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and additional forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the hurt caused by leading children to judge they must earn our praise. That’s precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it’s not the message most parents intend to send.
More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents reflect about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from “doing to” to “effective with” parenting — including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, reliable people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.
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Is this why I have to place up with so many brats when I go out in public? Is this the same clueless fool who said you can’t spoil a child? At least he admits one of his goals is to tear down the individualism this country is founded upon by replacing systems of rewards and punishment, and the goal of responsibility with navel staring anarchy. Newsflash, leader, we already have a society based on no parenting parenting, I quiver to envision a world of his building that is even more so.
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
Kohn gives text book advice for text book situations. “Kohn, how about joining the real world?”Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Like and Reason
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
Children stand on their legs and adults will stand on their brains.
A 5-year ancient grandchild, agreed the opportunity, knows better (not better, as in a comparison, but better in knowing the world as it is at any agreed moment) than grown-ups who act and reflect on mere suggestion.
The world draws upon your curiosity. Any forerunner who pays attention knows (not as in logical argument) this. That’s what grandchildren teach them. That’s all.
Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5
First of all, this book gives thoughts that have absolutely no practical application. For example, he suggests that ideally you should never praise your kids, because they should learn to feel proud of themselves, not rely on your pride. Sure, they should feel proud of themselves, but aren’t they more likely to just feel terrible about themselves if they grow up with parents who refuse to hand out praise?
More importantly to me, as a Christian parent, is the fact that he sites religion as one of the reasons parents these days are too conditional in his opinion. He really states that the God of Christian and Jewish religion is the essential example of conditional like, and goes on to say that these religions teach God likes you only if you like him. I can’t respect anything he has to say after reading that kind of nonsense.
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
This book is fantastic in theory but excellent luck putting into practice!!
Some of his ONLY real advice was to let a child (while in public) ride out a temper tantrum. Well, what about kids you flail, bite, hit, throw, and do anything possible while having a tantrum….what then?
There is nothing in this book I don’t already do.
Adage “Excellent job” is terrible? Come on, lets all live in the real world!
Somebody give me some REAL advice for the extreme situations!!
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5