The Royals
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Product Description
After four years of exhaustive research and over 1,000 interviews, Fund Kelley has gone behind palace walls to provide the first three-dimensional, comprehensive, and even-handed portrait of the men and women who make up the British royal family tree. Features two 16-page photo inserts.Amazon.com Review
The killer quill of Fund Kelley, who skewered Jackie Onassis, Frank Sinatra, and Nancy Reagan, goes for royal blood in her latest tell-all biography, The Crowned heads. Fans of the 1992 book Diana used to bash her in-laws–Andrew Morton’s Diana: Her Right Tale–and Prince Charles’s 1995 fight back–Jonathan Dimbleby’s The Prince of Wales–will detect much familiar material. So will anyone who’s ever read a newspaper. Even so, Kelley has a fantastic eye for the salable quote and anecdote, and her book makes for handy one-stop gossip shopping.
Here are a few of the grave allegations Kelley collects in a history of Britain’s top dogs: though the crowned heads may like their corgis more than their children and spouses, they pinch the poor pooches’ posteriors to make them bark into the phone to amuse the crowned heads at the additional end of the line. Also, the Queen Mother may have been born out of wedlock, and her daughter, Queen Elizabeth, may have been conceived by artificial insemination.
There are dozens of additional stinky zingers in Kelley’s book, mostly from anonymous sources. The late Princess Diana comes off the best, even though Kelley suggests that she may have shoved her 58-year-ancient stepmother down the stairs. Diana met her last lover, Dodi, after The Crowned heads went to press, so there’s nothing in it about them–though Kelley does tell previous 100 m.p.h. chases and press encounters ending in gore. It was a long, sad tale leading up to the last crash, and Kelley tells the family tree’s worst enemies’ account of it in a tone colder than the crowned heads themselves.
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Hey Liz, if you’re reading this – I’ve read this! I wasn’t stopped by customs, struck down by lightning, or anything. I know your secrets, Liz – and it has reinforced my determination to make the UK surrender to MY benelovent dictatorship. Nothing can stop me now!
Reader’s Rating: 4 / 5
Terrible book! Dreadful! couldn’t be worse. Lies and more lies all over the book. People should show more respect for ther Crowned heads.
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
As a (non-anglophile) Canadian who spent summers growing up in England, I really appreciated this sinfully tasty recount of the royal family tree. My Quebec-born father permanently abhorred seeing these people depicted on our currency, stamps and even a portrait showed in a hockey arena and permanently had some sarcastic comment about them. I wish he was alive to give this a read. This book is packed with the most humourous tidbits that really make the crowned heads look human. The tale about the Duke of Edenburgh smacking the secret service agent with a newspaper during a convoy and the joke about the Queen, Princess Margaret, the hijackers and the Rolls Royce made me roar with raucious laughter, as did the joke about the cinematographer on page 304. I only wish it had 1000 pages so I could savour it longer. This is the best book I have read since Elroy’s American Tabloid! I enthusiastically recommend it! Heidi Howell
Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5
To anyone with a serious interest in recent British history, absolutely avoid this book like the plague. The leader lost me in the first chapter when she depicts King George VI and Queen Elizabeth on their legendary and vital visit to Washington DC in June of 1939, as living a life of lavish abandon while their subjects suffered wartime privation at home.
Too terrible the war didn’t start till September, Ms. Kelley!
After this outright lie, written for no additional reason than to blacken the characters involved and tell an “appealing” tale, needless to say, it was impossible to take anything else the leader had to say very seriously. This book is meant for the readers of “the National Enquirer”, and anyone else to whom such trivial things as dates and right chronology of events are not vital. Is it any marvel that publication was banned in the United Kingdom and this rag is to be establish on the twenty five cent reject shelf?
Nuff said.
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
Fund Kelly has taken much of her information directly from “Queen Elizabeth” A Portrait of the Queen Mother, by Penelope Mortimer.
She has also included much material from additional publications that are too copious to name!
This is too terrible, as I would really delight in reading a in depth book on the House of Windsor
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5