The Orchid Thief
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Product Description
The Orchid Thief is the right tale of John Laroche, an obsessed Florida plant dealer willing to go to any lengths to steal rare and protected wild orchids and clone them, all for a tidy profit. But the morality of Laroche’s actions do not drive the narrative of Orlean’s weird, compelling, and hilarious book. She is much more interested in the spectacle this unusual man makes through his actions, including one of the oddest officially authorized controversies in recent memory, which brought together environmentalists, Native American activists, and devoted orchid collectors. She follows Laroche deep into Florida’s swamps, tapping into not only the psyche of the deeply opinionated Laroche but also the wider subculture of orchid collectors, including aristocrats, fanatics, and smugglers whose obsession with plants is all-consuming. Orlean describes the weirdness of it all in wonderful detail, but, ultimately, the book is primarily about passion itself and the incredible lengths to which people will go to gratify it.Amazon.com Review
Orchidelirium is the name the Victorians gave to the flower madness that is for botanical collectors the equivalent of gold fever. Wealthy orchid fanatics of that era sent explorers (heavily armed, more to protect themselves against additional orchid seekers than against hostile natives or wild animals) to unmapped territories in search of new varieties of Cattleya and Paphiopedilum. As knowledge of the family tree Orchidaceae grew to encompass the currently more than 60,000 species and over 100,000 hybrids, orchidelirium might have been expected to go the way of Dutch tulip mania. Yet, as journalist Susan Orlean establish out, there still exists a vein of orchid madness strong enough to inspire larceny among collectors.
The Orchid Thief centers on south Florida and John Laroche, a quixotic, charismatic schemer once convicted of attempting to take endangered orchids from the Fakahatchee swamp, a state preserve. Laroche, a horticultural consultant who once ran an wide nursery for the Seminole tribe, dreams of building a chance for the Seminoles and himself by cloning the rare ghost orchid Polyrrhiza lindenii. Laroche sums up the obsession that drives him and so many others:
I really have to watch myself, especially around plants. Even now, just being here, I still get that collector feeling. You know what I mean. I’ll see something and then suddenly I get that feeling. It’s like I can’t just have something–I have to have it and learn about it and grow it and sell it and master it and have a million of it.
Even Orlean–so leery of orchid fever that she immediately gives away any plant that’s pushed upon her by the growers in Laroche’s circle–develops a desire to see a ghost orchid budding and makes several ultimately unsuccessful treks into the Fakahatchee. Filled with Palm Beach socialites, Native Americans, English peers, smugglers, and naturalists as improbably colorful as the tropical blossoms that inspire them, this is a lyrical, amusing, addictively entertaining read. –Barrie Trinkle
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I didn’t reflect it was a excellent thought; writing a whole book on orchids! couldn’t end it.
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
Let me clarify the world of modern publishing for you. A writer’s agent pitches a book. The editor at the publishing company looks at it and says, “No, this will never sell. Not mainstream enough. Try the tiny presses who will pay dogsh#t.” What IS bestseller material? Well, here’s where it gets appealing. A can’t-miss bestseller that is sure to garner wild critical acclaim is a book that is:
VERY LONG
VERY BORING
VERY POINTLESS
VERY VULGAR
Why, you question, is this the formula? Bend close and I’ll tell you: Because people don’t really read these books. People pretend to read them. Then they recommend them to others, who then pretend to read them. Critics don’t read them either. You kidding me? Do know what kind of attention critics pay to anything? About as much attention as anyone pays while on the job: as small as possible, am I right? No, they just hold their finger up to the wind and try not to stand out by differing from the herd opinion. They’ve heard its fantastic, don’t even look at the book, write a review based on somebody else’s review and it goes from there. All a bestseller must have is the LOOK of a bestseller. It must be thick, it must have an exotic yet dull title and take in – just so you know you’re in for some real art. And it must be abstractedly past seeming so you feel you’re getting a real education while you have the unopened book lying next to you at the beach. Some relative of yours wanders over and makes some inquisitive noises about the book and you make noises back to the effect that its real fantastic. The relative then hears Oprah talk about it – who also has not and never will read the book – and then goes and finds it prominently showed on the new relief rack at the bookmegastore. Thus is perpetuated el hustle. If I were a consultant to a publishing house I would advise them to save money by not having any print inside the book. What’s that you say? Save further money by gluing the book shut and having a hollow interior? No, the book’s gotta have that heft to it or nobody will buy it. You know, its gotta be real heavy material. Kapeesh?
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
In this book is revealed John Laroche’s guide to “mutating” plants, and his all-purpose theory of mutation. Laroche says that mutation is reliable for some people being real smart. Like him, for example. He tells Orlean that what must’ve happened is that he was exposed to some kind of toxic stuff when he was young and was then mutated into the brilliant person he is today. I am not joking. This is in the book. Rumor has it that either Orlean is building the whole thing up (reasonably possible) or John Laroche really believes in a comic book account of genetic mutation. I guess this is where his lack of proper education really starts to show.
As any schoolboy who has not gone to school and as a replacement for has learned about life from reading comic books knows, people are mutated by being pivotally exposed to some radioactive or otherwise toxic agent. This is how they derive their superpowers. In the case of John Laroche, the superpower is extreme intelligence. Laroche then goes on to state that he has “mutated” lots of plants by putting germinating seeds in the microwave. Now, again, there is a well loved misconception, propagated by the media, that microwaves are in some way “radioactive” This is not so. Microwave ovens do nothing but excite water molecules with non-visible light, building the water heat up. Laroche would have achieved the same result by putting the plant seeds under a heat lamp. The result would be that the germinating seeds would dry up and cook and die. The result would NOT be that they would “mutate.” So this is all nonsense. The only thing hard to determine is whether Laroche really believes any of this. I’m guessing he just made it up as he went along while talking to a captive audience in the form of Susan Orlean.
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
okay, here’s another run at why this is unbelievably terrible writing. When I “watched” Adaptation (see my review of this stinker for details) I initially thought it was based on a fictitious book. When I learned otherwise, I couldn’t judge that such malarkey existed, though of course I should have known better.
Some writers are the biographers of Einstein. Some are the biographers of saints. Susan Orlean is the biographer of a piece of white trash with a mental disorder. It is supposed to be very quixotic and eccentric, but at bottom we are hit with a guy who is an obsessive collector of random things. He is also not above breaking the law to suit himself, hence the title. In this degenerate age, this is all we can hope for when looking for an exemplary life. This guy’s life is not even very appealing, let alone inspiring.
And then there is the matter of disingenuousness. The leader tells the reader that Laroche – the collector – was writing a guide to growing plants which he was going to advertize in High Times. But, marijuana plants “grown according to his instructions would never mature and hence would never be psychoactive.” See, this Laroche is keeping kids on the straight and narrow. We should laud him. Except for the fact that this “information” is completely fake. I have grown my honest share of marijuana and have establish first-hand that it certainly is not just budding plants which are psychoactive. In fact, sadly, not one of my plants ever made it that far: I smoked them long before that.
So if this part is a load of BS, just reflect what else may be completely made-up.
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
this book really didnt keep my interest. but i had to read it for school. so yea.
Reader’s Rating: 3 / 5