The Lost Art of Listening, Second Edition: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships
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- ISBN13: 9781593859862
- Condition: New
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Product Description
One person talks; the additional listens. It’s so basic that we take it for granted. Sorry to say, most of us reflect of ourselves as better listeners than we really are. Why do we so regularly fail to connect when language with family tree members, romantic partners, colleagues, or friends? How do emotional reactions get in the way of real communication? This thoughtful, witty, and empathic book has already helped over 100,000 readers break through conflicts and transform their personal and professional relationships. Veteran therapist Mike Nichols provides plain examples, simple-to-learn techniques, and practical exercises for apt a better listener–and building yourself heard and understood, even in hard situations.
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I had hopes for this book because of the straighforwardness of the title and subtitle — but it doesn’t really teach you how to listen, just the importance of listening and the reasons people don’t listen. I was already convinced of the need to listen or I wouldn’t have bought the book. I sincerely wanted to learn how to listen effectively. The leader provides obvious statements with which no one could disagree, but comes up fleeting on the how-to of it all. He advocates empathy, suspension of one’s own agenda, and genuine attentiveness — who didn’t know that or guess that? The leader includes his personal experiences way too regularly, as though he needed a name to listen to him . . . and the clear-cut, case-in-point examples he gives seem more made-up than real-life. He lost my hopes completely when he writes about “nagging women” who feel their husbands do not listen to them. Unbelievably, his advice to such women is to expect less of their husbands so they will receive more in return. He might as well have told them to shut up.
Reader’s Rating: 2 / 5
The Lost Art of Listening, Second Edition: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships (Guilford Family tree Therapy)
by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
I have written about relationships all of my professional life, and I have included information on relationships in my textbook, Understanding Interpersonal Communication — which, I might add, is “on sale” at Amazon.com for $124.20! Also, I have co-authored a book on listening (with Curt Bechler) which is out-of-print, but Amazon.com lists the book, Listen to Win, “on sale” for $70.00! I mention these as my credentials for reviewing The Lost Art of Listening, which is a book that directly relates the two (relationships and listening), and I want to mention at the outset that this book deserves accolades and recommendations. It is well-written and a right pleasure to read. It is full of practical, applied information, which means you can both know and use the information immediately. Also, it touches on the very core of the listening problem: that we seldom listen well to the vital people in our lives. Most people reflect they already listen well so would not even consider this book significant. The “Quiz” on pages 67-69 (along with directions for scoring the results) may help disabuse readers of this belief.
In this 314-page paperback (with a 5 1/2-page pointer), some may judge the book too forbidding at first glance; but, the leader offers copious examples, appealing and useful boxed inserts, fleeting sections, highlighted (boldface) quotations that offer suggestions and insights, and end-of-chapter exercises that help you in applying chapter information. It is clear just from a quick glance through the book that Nichols is an accomplished textbook writer — all the essential ancillaries are here. (If you check out his additional books at Amazon.com, you will notice from the number of books and froml the reviews, that Nichols has achieved success in a number of theme areas.)
There is no doubt that following the leader’s guidelines will not only make you a better listener, but they will contribute positively to improved relationships (his main point!). I recommend this book lacking indecision or reservation. Every parent should read it, and anyone, too, who is preparation to enter, is already in, or has veteran any failed relationships in the past desperately needs the information in this book.
Reader’s Rating: 4 / 5
This was suggested to my by my professor and I really don’t feel like it gives me anything I haven’t already learned in my undergrad and now grad classes in counseling. For a non student I can see where this could be helpful.
Reader’s Rating: 3 / 5
If you’ve ever felt that something was missing from some conversations but couldn’t pinpoint exactly what – this book might be eye (and ear) opening for you. I’d like to carry this book around with me for constant reminders on how to be a better listener! Simple to read with plenty of examples.
Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5
If you’re looking for a “self-help” or “how to” this book might not be the one for you. But if you want to know the background behind how and why we choose or choose not to listen, this is a fantastic book. It would be especially helpful for anyone in the psychology or communication arenas, but for the average person trying to become a better listener, it might take a small too long to get to the point (it’s over 300 pages I reflect). I do delight in the anecdotal style in which it is written, which helps the reader see the point the leader is trying to make.
Reader’s Rating: 3 / 5