The Dance Of Intimacy
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Product Description
In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling leader ofThe Dance of Rage outlines the steps to take so that excellent relationships can be strengthened and hard ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at persons relationships where intimacy is most challenged–by distance, intensity, or pain–she teaches us about the point changes we can make to achieve a more levelheaded sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with plain case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most levelheaded, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.
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I ordered the books (rage.deception.intimacy) from the leader and I loved them. But,something that I noticed was that the leader does not anywhere acknowledge her clients who HAPPEN to be the source of her material for her books. She gives a fleeting paragraph about the clients on the flip side(next page) of the “thank you’s” page adage basically that she has changed everything about the person so that she may use their material. I spent most of my life being minimized or discounted or negated by people like this who could use my life’s material for her own personal gain and frankly I am offended by it. I find it extremely distasteful that she (the leader) thanks every teacher, scholar, professor, friend,thanks her spouse and kids for her success and does not EVEN start to thank her clients who, if she didn’t have them, who be a huge NOBODY in this business. How Narcissistic! I plot on counting up the number of people the leader owes an amends to…..I have looked over every single book and have not establish acknowledgement, if I am incorrect…please let me know…
Reader’s Rating: 3 / 5
Most of the book is very helpful and compassionately explores how to connect better with the people who can not only push your buttons, but made them in the first place.
But, I was extremely disappointed with the chapter on mother-daughter relationships. Lerner writes, “Our mothers have … lived with impossible and crippling expectations about their role.” Well, my mother physically abused me. I hardly reflect that my rage at her “stems naturally from a society which assigns mothers the primary responsibility for all family tree problems.” I had read this chapter hoping to get more insight into how to set limits – physical, verbal, and emotional – and as a replacement for I learn that really, I just need to know her better. I’ve tried to figure her out my whole life!
There are two case studies on inappropriate family tree behavior that I establish helpful, one on an alcoholic father and one on brother-sister incest. I notice though that both of the these studies focus on *men* mistreating *women*, because that fits into the leader’s ideology (let me stress also that I’m a strong feminist, but that doesn’t change the power dynamics in my family tree).
I also reflect that there should be some acknowledgement of how damaging abuse is to the child, even in adulthood, and how hard it can be to hold onto that when faced with your abuser. It took me years of therapy before I could see that no, it’s not appropriate for a mother to rip her daughter’s shirt off and kick her out of the house because the mother had a terrible day at work. While there are bits and pieces that acknowledge abuse and the importance of self-protection, it’s not enough overall.
Reader’s Rating: 3 / 5
This was basicall new. Brilliant fee, fantastic shipping time, it was packed safely and very net. I will certainly use this company again.
Book is in very excellent condition
Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5
The leader rumor has it that does not have a very wide awareness of life’s possibilities. Her main point is that all you have to do is to communicate with your mother, and you will find that she has loved you all along. Personally, I only ongoing to heal when I realised that my mother would never value me in any way, and I establish this book very invalidating. See books by Susan Forwards and Christina Crawford for recognition of what relationships can really be like, and what to do about them.
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
Anything we can learn about relationships is helpfull and this book does a excellent job of explaining that. I establish it was a wothwhile read. I give it 4 stars because I didn’t find compelled to recommend it to all my friends.
Reader’s Rating: 4 / 5