Mentor: A Memoir
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- ISBN13: 9780982504895
- Condition: New
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Booklist review
Mentor: A MemoirÂ
Grimes’ candid and keenly wrought memoir is at once a self-portrait of the writer as an nervous MFA student and homage to his guiding light, Frank Conroy, the legendary director of the Iowa Writers’ Workshop, the crucible from which so many extraordinary writers emerged, from Flannery O’Connor to Kurt Vonnegut to Marilynne Robinson. Grimes was in his thirties when he arrived, weary of waiting tables and writing in grim isolation. Conroy had unshakable faith in Grimes, and the two formed a profound bond. Writing with the qualities Conroy tirelessly championed–”meaning, sense, clarity”–Grimes not only expresses infinite like and gratitude for Conroy, he also unveils with rare specificity the weird trance borne of concentrating on the endless possibilities of language, and the initial elation and eventual complications of publication. Fascinating literary anecdotes give way to dismal revelations of the nervous breakdowns Conroy and Grimes each endured. Grimes’ staggering self-critique, keen tribute to Conroy as writer and mentor, and hard-won insights into the right demands of writing and the deep reminiscence of literature are arresting and cautionary, inspiring and distressing. — Donna Seaman
(edited by leader)
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wonderful book, just wonderful. i bought the book because of michael dirda’s recent (and very positive) review in the washington post, and i couldn’t place the book down until i finished it – the book is just fantastic.
Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5
I just finished reading one of the most extraordinary books I’ve ever read:
MENTOR–A MEMOIR by Tom Grimes. It’s about this writer’s intellectual/literary and personal relationship with Frank Conroy, the leader of the highly regarded literary memoir of growing up, STOP TIME.
It expresses so keenly the scenery of wanting/needing to write and the
desire to place one’s thoughts down as well as one can. Tom Grimes had to struggle all his life to be the writer he dreamed of apt. In MENTOR, he achieved what I hope he’s sufficiently proud of.
MENTOR is a must-read.
Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5
“I hadn’t expected to write this book, but, in a way, our life tale form bookends. His about childhood, adolescence, and a lost father, mine about writing, teaching, and a father establish. Our tale has come full circle. The tale’s meaning mystifies me, yet if Frank were alive he’d agree that neither of us would choose to live in a world that was unmarked by the passage of time, and anything additional than inscrutable.”
Writer, teacher, and philanthropist, Tom Grimes, wrote this memoir about his friendship with Frank Conroy and his struggles with writing and publishing. Grimes opens his narrative in 1980’s Key West, where he’s striving to write publishable work while earning money as a waiter. After applying to the Iowa Writing Workshop MFA program, he heard Frank Conroy speak at a seminar in Florida. Later, he approached him offstage with enthusiastic questions about writing and the workshop. Conroy, who had recently become Director at Iowa, dismissed him. He ambled right past Tom to talk to a friend, waving him off that his chances of acceptance were slim to zip (in so many words). His confidence punctured, Tom went home to tear up–really, he gutted–Conroy’s celebrated memoir, Stop-Time: A Memoir. He tossed it in the garbage and wiped his hands of Frank Conroy.
During the subsequent interval of furious emotions–getting rejected by various schools, being frustrated with his job–Tom received a phone call. It was from Conroy, who had no clue that he was language to a name he had snubbed. He wouldn’t have even remembered the encounter. Frank spoke to him in his hoarse, cigarette-laden voice, adage that he loved his manuscript (Grimes’ unfinished novel) and that he has been accepted into the Iowa program. Grimes was ecstatic. He and his wife, Jody, and their two cats, stirred to the Midwest to start the journey of his mentorship and friendship with Conroy.
Conroy took Tom under his wing, which caused jealousy in some of Tom’s classmates. There are some hilarious and horrifying examples of how this played out in the classroom. Frank believed in Tom’s talent and mentored him closely. Eventually, their relationship became more like a father-son bond. Although Conroy was regularly inexplicable, with a deadpan affect and wooly exterior, he was exuberant about Tom’s writing and ambition. He had agreed him a job teaching freshmen (Tom turned down erudition money in lieu of real work), and, by increments, invited him into his life.
Grimes and Conroy had things in common. They grew up with an absent father; they wrote to secure a center of gravity. Moreover, they shared an emotional flow away into the dark side of their minds. Grimes’ description of losing his grip and his personal dislocation with reality was nothing fleeting of riveting. Frank’s STOP-TIME memoir describes his repeated attempts to kill himself, lacking success.
Also, they were impassioned teachers and had a knack for organizing others to raise money, as well as culling collaboration on anthologies and projects. Grimes was instrumental in saving Katherine Anne Porter’s childhood home in Kyle, Texas. He directs the MFA program at Texas State University (in San Marcos, Texas), which is just minutes away. In persuading others to become part of the project, he helped get the funds to restore her home and use it for visiting writers to the University. As an Austin resident, I remember when the press unrestricted the choice to save her house. Conroy was well loved by writers and trustees alike, and he was adept at obtaining endowments for the facility and scholarships for students. Grimes related that Conroy flew to Austin to be at a dying James Michener’s bedside. In a lesser man, it would have seemed merely opportunistic. But Conroy did just about everything with aplomb.
What is so touching about this memoir is the candid honesty of the narrative. Grimes isn’t worried to reveal his awkwardness, his rejections, and his missteps. He keeps a fluid balance between light and heavy lacking tipping into a confessional mode. He confides with a generally natural ease, describing how his relationship with Conroy made it hard for him to separate from his need for Frank’s praise. When one of Grimes’ novels failed to make it, it took him years to realize that his confidence in it had been Frank’s confidence all along.
“I hadn’t been able to separate my need for Frank’s affection from my need to look at my novel as objectively as possible. Which is why it’s taken me twenty years to know that our unexpected friendship, rather than my novel, was the real work of art.”
This is a commendable memoir for budding writers, also. There are teachable moments on the art and craft of writing, a peek at the editing process, and a gaping look at the vicissitudes of the publishing houses.
Occasionally, the narrative is too earnest or overripe. Tom’s trip home to his family tree after a tragic event was a bit self-conscious and overwritten. The incident speaks for itself, and required no additional melodrama. But, the impact of such an incident and the difficulty coping with mental illness in family tree members was poignant. I comprehended that Grimes may have some difficulty with the more gruesome autobiographical memories.
There are gorgeous nuggets, especially about Tom’s relationship with writing, even more so than his relationship with Frank Conroy.
“Every day I face a blank page, knowing that the majority of the words I commit to the page will be incorrect… But for me writing is a necessity. I exist in sentences. I forget my sense of failure. I forget time. I forget ageing. I forget that one day I’ll die. Revising sentences is an act of hope, and connecting with a reader is the only leap of faith I’ll ever take.”
I was unacquainted with Tom Grimes before I read his memoir. I won’t forget him easily, though. He made himself transparent and known; he connected with this reader in intimate, echoing ways. Additionally, he invited us into one of the most vital relationships in his life, to his deeply touching bond with the enigmatic Frank Conroy. His humanity and his heart form a moving tribute to his tale. It is a memoir of friendship, faith, time, teaching, writing and reaching out to others.
Reader’s Rating: 4 / 5