It’s Not Just Who You Know: Transform Your Life by Turning Colleagues and Contacts into Lasting, Genuine Relationships
Where to buy It’s Not Just Who You Know: Transform Your Life by Turning Colleagues and Contacts into Lasting, Genuine Relationships books online?
- ISBN13: 9780307589132
- Condition: New
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Product Description
In It’s Not Just Who You Know, Tommy Spaulding—the ex- CEO of Up With People—has written the new How to Win Friends and Influence People for the twenty-fist century. Success—in business and in life—is all about relationships. In this powerful guide to reaching out to others, Spaulding takes Dale Carnegie’s classic philosophy to the next level—how to make lasting relationships that go well beyond mere superficial contacts and “second floor” relationships.
Tommy Spaulding learned at a very young age that he was not destined to be an literary star. He may have gotten a 4.0, but only if he added his high school and college GPAs together. The reason he establish academics so challenging, he learned later, is that Tommy is dyslexic. But his dyslexia didn’t hold him back—in fact, it helped him to renovate the talents he did have. For Tommy is a natural leader; he realized early on that he had a unique ability to connect with others, whatever their age or background. As a teenager, he was agreed a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People by his father, and it quickly became his bible. He became a national finalist for the DECA Capitalist Business competition in high school, and ran successfully for senior class president. He went on to become the CEO of Up With People, one of the largest nonprofit international leadership organizations in the world.
At every step, Tommy learned that the secret to getting yet to be was reaching out for the support and insight and influence of others. None of us achieve fantastic success alone. We need the help of additional people.
In this candid, revealing book, Tommy expands upon the principles that Dale Carnegie outlined 75 years ago, and shows us how to take them one step further to accomplish the impossible in our lives and careers. To invite others to be genuine partners in our lives and success, Tommy clarifies, you have to first be interested in additional people. It’s not just who you know, or what they can do for you, but what you can do for them. Motives matter. Establishing a deeper tie is about authenticity, not manipulation. Reciprocity, not egocentricity. Every relationship is a two-way street; we never know when a chance encounter can change the direction of our life.
In the bestselling tradition of Dale Carnegie’s classic, It’s Not Just Who You Know shows how each and every one of us can use the power of netgiving—of helping others—to expand our world and achieve our goals, and make a difference in our job, our career, and our community.Amazon.com Review
Marshall Goldsmith Reviews It’s Not Just Who You Know
Marshall Goldsmith is a world-renowned executive coach and leader of the New York Times bestsellers, MOJO and What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. Read his review of It’s Not Just Who You Know:
To be successful today, leaders need more than an impressive title and superficial “friends” in high places. They need to be able to do some basic things–erect partnerships, share leadership, and renovate and empower people–-to name just a critical few. The challenge is that none of these are possible if people don’t trust or judge in their leaders. That’s where this new book, It’s Not Just Who You Know, fills an vital gap in leadership education. In it, Tommy Spaulding hits on the vital issue of building and sustaining relationships–-real relationships, authentic relationships as opposed to persons less genuine, selfish relationships that do not erect morale in the organization or trust between people. Tommy’s is a fantastic book because he doesn’t just tell you that relationships are vital, he tells you why, and he tells you how to practice building them. If you pick up one book today, let it be this one. You’ll be glad you did!
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This book captures the importance of being authentic in our business relationships, and does so in a honest, open and heartfelt way. The well loved view of many “achievement” type books encourages us to take what we can get from business relationships, while this book encourages us to give what we can. The tales from the life of the leader are shared in an intimate manner, while commnicating well the message he sends. A business oriented book you will delight in reading, and gain a fantastic deal from!
Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5
I read a lot of books on leadership, in fact I have a Ph.D. in leadership — and this is the best book I have read in years. Tommy’s tales are heartfelt links to success for everyone. If you want to be inspired, motivated and transform your life and that of your organization — READ THIS BOOK. Tommy Spaulding is changing the world — one relationship at a time.
Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5
The current reviews speak volumes about the quality of both the substance and the enjoyability of this book. It is a next step of many traditional motivational or networking books because it calls you to be something larger than yourself. To live for something greater than yourself, and Tommy walks you through it with real examples from his own life. The tales are inspiring, the principles are profound, and the take away is clear: It is more about netgiving then networking. You need look no farther than Tommy’s fifth floor relationship with his wife’s ex spouse to see the quality of the man behind the book. It takes a huge man to have relationships like Tommy does, to run a company as he did, and to encourage a world to truly like their national as himself.
Fantastic read, I highly recommend it.
Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5
A better title might be “Nice Guys Don’t End Last.”
In this very enjoyable, feel-excellent read, Spaulding describes how being a nice guy – interested in others, listening with respect to people, helping out others, etc. – has agreed him a fantastic life. His book is part memoir, part inspiring tale and part justification for building deeper and more meaningful professional relationships.
Additional reviewers (advocates, maybe?) have described the book well so I won’t. Here’s what they didn’t say but you should know:
The book is more high level than how-to. The suggestions for ways anyone can take relationships to level five – the penthouse – are based on his experiences and personality. They worked well for him but might not fit too many others.
This guy takes extroversion to new levels – it’s extroversion on steroids. He says anyone can learn to do what he does but just reading about his activities made me want to spend more time alone. And I score above average on extroversion!
While his tales of how relationships changed his life were very moving and convincing, he focuses only on the positive relationships. I would have benefited more from hearing how he dealt with what he calls cancer in relationships – jealousy, egocentricity and insecurities – as well as people who are very critical or don’t share your values.
Maybe that will be Volume 2.
Reader’s Rating: 4 / 5
Oh my goodness did this book make me reflect. I’ve grown up hearing the ‘it’s not what you know, it’s who you know’ and so initially establish it to some extent hard reading this book as Tommy Spaulding’s views challenged many of my defined perceptions.
So that said what’s the book all about:
Simply its about building meaningful relationships. It’s about giving and contributing, lacking expecting anything in return. Its about taking an interest in people. Tommy Spaulding shows you how vital relationships are and how they can truly change and imporve your life by letting you into his world, sharing his life experience with you. Spaulding delivers his message by discussing and status levels of relationships i.e. level 1 is talk about news, sport and weather to level 5, in which you have right, unconditional friendships. The book is simple to read and know.
I bought this book based on previous reviews and I have to say, I wasn’t disappointed with my buy. Spaulding draws on his own experience, from his youth through to being a CEO of one of the world’s largest non-profit organisations to running his own companies, providing real examples of how to contribute and make the world a better place. Furthermore, he doesn’t profess to be perfect and talks about his own pitfalls and how he has changed his outlook for the better.
Throughout the book Spaulding returns and discusses the key theme – building meaningful relationships. He suggests doing this will in turn not just make you a better person but likely lead to you being more successful in whatever it is you do.
When I first read this I thought no problem, I have friends, I network, i do all this but Spaulding suggests the opposite, stating networking is about building a relationship with the view ‘what’s it it for me’ i.e. network with a name to get a better job. Spaulding believes these are shallow and at times destructive relationships. As a replacement for he makes you question your lot in life and how you really engage people, promoting the importance of listening and taking an interest in people, finding out what their goals, fears, likes and dislikes are. Sounds so simple.
Now I’ll be honest there were parts I questioned, parts I had to place the book down and walk away and additional parts were I couldn’t stop reading. It’s that sort of book – thought provoking. Spaulding believes taking an interest in people (and a genuine interest),whether it be in customers, employees etc can and does lead to success. He doesn’t just say this, he provides support for these assertions through current companies and his own life. He is also realistic and provides an example of where his grandfather told him ‘people don’t reflect like this’, ‘it’s a dog eat do world’. Spaulding acknowledges this and discusses this in detail, providing some advice to prevent being taken advantage of etc.
What I really liked?
I really loved chapter 2, in which Spaulding discusses how he was awarded a significant erudition, largely as a consequence of taking an interest in a bartender, when persons he was up against didn’t. This innocuous looking relationship changed his life significantly, providing him with opportunities he wouldn’t have been afforded otherwise.
Secondly Spaulding’s discussion about how business isn’t just about how much money I can make. It’s much more than that. I establish this view refreshing.
Conclusion:
I establish this book everything the leader promised and more. You may not agree with everything said, I know I didn’t at first, but it is thought provoking and inspiring and causes you to re-consider how you approach your relationships (personally & well) and how you can be a better person and still be successful.
Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5