How to Be a Gentleman: A Timely Guide to Timeless Manners

5 Responses to “How to Be a Gentleman: A Timely Guide to Timeless Manners”

1. D.T. says:

   May 31, 2010 at 1:07 pm

   Loaded with practical approaches to being a gentleman (lost art) in todays archaic society. An Emily Post for men. Odd anecdotes on manners, dress, dating, etc. Applications for how to host a party to proper dining. Makes a excellent gift for the young man coming of age!
   Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5
2. lanziki says:

   May 31, 2010 at 2:07 pm

   Unlike the corresponding “How to be a Lady”, this book does not help men to know when they should and should not speak, what to do or not, how to treat their lady, how/when to converse, keep a secret,etc. It was disappointing and all ears too much on silly things such as when to wear brown shoes!
   
   Reader’s Rating: 2 / 5
3. Droogle says:

   May 31, 2010 at 3:51 pm

   Don’t grow up lacking it! My mother, still alive at 93, first gave my son a copy of a John Bridges manners book about when he was 13. He is now 26. Over the years, we have agreed him every book in the series and he has loved every one of them. He feels they have helped him know what to do when, and he feels it is vital to maintain a level of civility that seems to be diluting over time maybe due to the equipment age. Anyway these books make fantastic gifts, better men, and more pleased moms and grandmothers. .
   Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5
4. Sherron A. Harris says:

   May 31, 2010 at 6:03 pm

   I came across this book in Limits and went straight home and ordered it from amazon at a much better fee.

   This book is full of helpful manners that as a mother I did not reflect of ALL the ones this leader published. Simple, fleeting manners and tips that will make any guy get noticed!!

   Wonderful book for any 18+ young man. GREAT LIFETIME INVESTMENT!!!!
   Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5
5. fredtownward says:

   May 31, 2010 at 7:30 pm

   That may be the most vital lesson this book sets out to teach because as the authors place it in the introduction, “Simply acting like a gentleman is not enough. It is being a gentleman that is vital.” Or to place it another way, if your gentlemanly behavior is attracting favorable attention, chances are that you are doing it incorrect…

   or for the incorrect reasons.

   Much of this material will be familiar to persons knowledgeable about traditional etiquette, but much of it is as new as the latest equipment. Cell phone usage, including camera phone usage and texting, are covered, as is the proper use of email, along with more traditional guidance about formalwear (how to tie a bow tie with diagrams), how to know which fork to use and how to set a dinner table properly (with diagrams) so as to prevent confusion about the ex-, etc.

   I was particularly struck by the wisdom of the advice concerning smoking. It starts with the common courtesy taught more than a century ago and segues into the modern era of restrictions, finishing up with VERY vital advice on how to be a gentlemanly NONsmoker. The same evenhandedness is showed when the topic is dietary restrictions, whether imposed for health, religious, or political reasons. It is reasonably refreshing to see both nonsmokers and vegetarians reminded that gentlemanly behavior is their obligation, too.

   Defects? I noted very few. How to eat an artichoke would have benefitted from a diagram in addition to the detailed instructions, a topical pointer would have been nice, and there are permanently minor things over which gentlemen may disagree agreeably. The only two truly discordant notes might have been attempts at humor, which elsewhere in the book is usually well done. For example:

   “If a gentleman feels the urge to color his mustache, he shaves his mustache off.”

   Ha ha, very amusing. But, in going for the joke, the authors have neglected their primary task, guiding men into gentlemanly behavior. Since the authors nowhere condemn tan the hair on top of the head or the wearing of facial hair, they present the graying, facial hair wearing, would-be gentleman with an unsolvable problem, which is not automatically alleviated by deciding not to color the rest of his hair either. A man doesn’t permanently gray uniformly, and going au natural can result in a man looking as if he really has colored his hair…

   terribly.

   The additional possible joke comes in the instructions (with diagrams) for how to properly fold and read a newspaper in a confined space:

   “A gentleman reads a national newspaper, preferably the New York Times, on a regular basis.”

   The jacket blurb mentions that one of the authors, John Bridges, has been profiled in the New York Times, but even so it has been a long time since one could recommend reading the New York Times for the purpose of being informed…

   except in a punch line.

   These minor nits aside, it is a wonderful book, ideal for reading in tiny bits.

   Note: This is part of a whole series of Gentlemanners books for further reading and more detailed instruction in point areas: A Gentleman Entertains, As A Gentleman Would Say, A Gentleman Gets Dressed Up, A Gentleman at the Table, Toasts & Tributes, A Gentleman Abroad, How To Be A Lady, As a Lady Would Say, A Lady at the Table, 50 Things Every Young Gentleman Should Know, How To Raise A Gentleman, and How To Raise A Lady.
   Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5