Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

5 Responses to “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself”

1. Rick Goodner says:

   March 22, 2010 at 8:53 pm

   Co-dependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself must be considered the bible of the Co-dependent cult. In addition, Melody Beattie, by defaulting, must be the empress of the same. The problem is that this empress is walking around in the nude and no one has the courage to tell her that the magic co-dependent garments she is dressed in and is recommending to you are not really there. She has had a con pulled on her, and it is time for her to see it for what it is.

   Co-dependent Disorder is not a real emotional disorder never was and never will be- at best the construct is the mad rant and raving of on the wagon substance abusers who have fried their brain cells with drugs and/or boiled them in alcohol and are now trying to tell you how to live your life. Do they really have the answer for your life; I cannot see how they could.

   To be honest Ms. Beattie is not holding herself out as a mental health professional nevertheless, her book and the others like it are attempting to treat a made-up emotional disorder, which can be very treacherous to the unsuspecting public. The truth is that members of the co-dependent sect hold mental health professionals in very low esteem, which may be because mental health professionals have never embraced the co-dependent construct as a real disorder. I have even read in more than one of the co-dependent cookbooks that mental health professionals do not judge that co-dependent disorder is real due to the fact that they are co-dependent. This is about as dumb a statement as was ever made. Such a statement is akin to adage that people who do not judge in ghost are ghost.

   Please do not get me incorrect; Im not adage to not read this book. Please do. It is honestly well written and can give you a lot of laughs if you do not take it too seriously. But, keep your eyes open and your mind in gear.

   Rick Goodner, Leader of “Co-dependent… What a Bore and Additional Clinical Observations”
   Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
2. thinkingseeker says:

   March 22, 2010 at 11:32 pm

   I have read a couple of Melody Beattie’s books at the insistence of my ex-girlfriend, who, sorry to say, is not too bright. First, Carol joined AA and got that weird smug look on her face – as a replacement for of going out and being with her real friends, she became addicted to the meetings! If she got upset because she was late for work, suddenly her “alcoholism” was to blame. By the way, I only saw her drunk twice in the two years we went out – hardly an alcoholic, although certainly not too tightly wrapped.

   Then, she chose she was codependent, and of course so was I, and now she had more pseudo-science to spout. She became unbearable and I dumped her ass. She still doesn’t follow through on any plans, she still is inconsiderate and rude – these cult beliefs haven’t done anything but agreed her all kinds of made up diseases to take responsibility for her terrible actions.

   Glad I have stirred on and don’t have to read this silly stuff anymore.
   Reader’s Rating: 2 / 5
3. M. Wysong says:

   March 23, 2010 at 1:39 am

   This book, as well as a fake “codependency” diagnosis empowered my abusive spouse to continue his cruel behavior. He was horrific with constant verbal, emotional and sometimes physical abuse, and he wanted to blame it all on me. I lived in dread and torment through my entire marriage, but my abuser said it was my fault for “building” him mad with my personality and attempts to have my own opinions. He told me I needed to change to be more like him and went to therapy adage I was ruining his life. Sorry to say, his therapist didn’t know the truth- that my spouse was incredibly demanding, controlling, expecting and abusive. He would wait on me hand and foot, against my wishes, then berate me for hours and hours at a time because nothing I did in return was excellent enough. He was critical and impossible to please. So, my spouse came home with the thought that he was codependent and that he was enabling me to “act out.” He read this book, and chose that I was the one building him codependent and that I was the one who was abusing him by not giving into his every desire and building him pleased enough. Sadly, this led him to abuse and criticize me more, and he now has even more excuse to deny responsibility for his cruel and torturous behavior. As a replacement for of recognizing and stopping his abusive behavior, he chose that, since he was codependent, I must be the corresponding abuser. Never mind my bruises, emotional anguish and dread every time he came home! Maybe there are people who could benefit from this book, but in my case, it caused my abuser to deny his actions and escalate his cruelty. Maybe there are codependent people out there who do allow people to abuse them, but in my case, the man who behaved with some codependent mannerisms was the abuser. Things got out of control when he chose the opposite, and I stirred into a domestic violence shelter.
   Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
4. Inge D. Berge says:

   March 23, 2010 at 3:06 am

   This kind if thinking is what’s incorrect with America. Caring deeply for a name you like, even to the point of taking on their problems, is not incorrect, nor pathological. It’s part of what makes us human. Life is hard. Deep companionship, sharing of hardships, deep emotional involvement, feeling each additional’s pain – Humanity have grappled with these concepts since time immemorial through art, literature, philosophy. Along comes the American “Self-movement” and declares patly that any level of sacrifice for another is sickness, that one’s own happiness is all that counts, and that this happiness exists in your own “vacuum” independent of the feelings of others close to you. Emotional poison!

   This book has come to serve as a bible for persons who are worried of intimacy/human interdependence and are looking for moral justification for their nonstop self-centeredness. To them, I say – toss this garbage, start daring to occupy yourself in the lives of others again, like, live – we all need others! You’re no different, and Melody Beatty is the shallowest of philosophers. If you have an imperfect, troubled like relationship with an imperfect, troubled human being, welcome to the club. It’s called being human.There’s nothing incorrect with it. Toss this book on the fire, stick out the tough times TOGETHER. The reward will regularly be much greater than immediate
   
   ’self’ fulfillment.
   Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
5. Teresa Bravo says:

   March 23, 2010 at 3:10 am

   I recommend this book to every woman or person who feels obligated to help others. It explores how we condition ourselves to give and to give, lacking learning how to receive.
   
   A excellent book for anyone interested in growing and changing destructive patterns of living.
   Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5