Breaking Free: A Recovery Workbook for Facing Codependence

5 Responses to “Breaking Free: A Recovery Workbook for Facing Codependence”

1. Anonymous says:

   October 16, 2010 at 7:33 am

   Still another way to avoid perfect responsibility for one’s own behavior…. as in it’s not my problem, I project it onto my “co-dependent” and so the saga of “I must fix a name else to be pleased myself” continues. Well, you CAN’T fix anyone else or manipulate them into behaving differently toward you. Take ownership of your projections, see how what you don’t like in others is what you don’t like in yourself and fix that. When you fix yourself, your whole world changes. There are plenty of books here about effective on just yourself.
   Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
2. Andrew Wilkinson says:

   October 16, 2010 at 9:37 am

   I’ve taken a few sessions with Diane, a cognitive therapist, who has shown an interest in Melody’s work. From the small I’ve read it seems that the work of Freud and Jung are at the heart of this type of analysis. From memory Freud argues that there are conscious and unconscious levels of human experience.

   At the conscious level we go about our day to day lives growing, effective, having families and additional relationships as we may. The sub-conscious level of being is the fundamentally human, the BIOS of being. Here we are plotted to procreate and well being is achieved by behaving in ways consistent with successful procreating and nurturing. The two may collide as life choices at the conscious level …

   I reflect that a practical person has to start with simple assumptions like, `in the end we are all dead’, and no matter what else, the dog needs a bone.

   This is why I value the stuff I’ve read from Freud and Jung and see the study of the `child within’ from behaviourists and cognitive therapists like Melody and Diane useful and instructive, but apt to take you beyond the point of utility. What is the reason for analysing the mysteries of childhood? Probably to identify points of dissonance between the conscious and unconscious aspects of self and to conduct experiment with healing strategies which lead to in excellent health being. But there needs to be a line in the sand beyond which you press to make the experience of life the point rather than be lost under too much analysis.

   The danger is permanently at the level of the navel. Anything too far south of the navel for too long can in the end lead to time consuming introspections which channel energy where is might have been more usefully employed at the practical level.

   Because of this dread of losing the plot, being analytical to a point of purity and inertia, I feel more attracted to Seligman’s texts, like Learned Optimism. Although wordy and victim of the modern determination to demonstrate that the underlying methodology is clinical and tested, it falls into the `kick in the bum’ camp. By this I mean Seligman wants the reader to go forwards in life, to live more successfully having learned of the kinds of errors of thought which waylay us all to some degree or another.

   Melody is deep navel. She is an iconoclast and defensive to the point of leaving small time for self improvement. By the time I’d accepted I’d wounded my `child within’ I was ready to cauterize the bastard and throw the bone at the dog rather than to the dog. To be honest she turns the ship into safer waters in her recovery workbook but for god’s sake I’ll die of the tedium before I end the exercises and get into recovery.

   Besides, my `bsmeter’ goes into meltdown when a name defines their descriptor of human life so broadly as to include everyone and adds to that that anyone who questions whether or not they fit the bill as being in denial. Diane commented in this regard during one session. If a descriptor is universal and defended by a huge protective moat, it risks defining nothing more accurately than its own purity and purposelessness.

   Apart from being forwards looking, Seligman concludes that we arbitrate our own destiny. At the end of the day he has us able to fix ourselves if we want to. Change what you can and acknowledge that that which you can’t change is something you can manage, maybe with drugs in the case of some depressions for example.

   Co-dependence theorising is fine, but the ship is at sea taking water, so let’s stop looking at the errors in the maps we were issued with and turn the boat around before it hits another iceberg.
   
   Reader’s Rating: 2 / 5
3. James N. Staal says:

   October 16, 2010 at 9:40 am

   Although I can speak nothing of the content, product was as advertized, service was excellent and I recommend this seller.
   Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5
4. Mary E. Simpson says:

   October 16, 2010 at 11:00 am

   Very timely and professional service. Fantastic book. Thank you. Sincerely, Mary
   Reader’s Rating: 5 / 5
5. J. Reidhead says:

   October 16, 2010 at 1:37 pm

   I am finding this book to be helpful because it has a step-by-step process of looking at a variety of identity formation and perception exercises that frame the step work it provides.
   Reader’s Rating: 4 / 5