Boundaries in Marriage
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Product Description
This unabridged audio version of the book, read by the authors, helps you know the friction points or serious hurts in your marriage–and go beyond them to the mutual care, respect, avowal, and intimacy you both long for. Read by Dick Fredricks.Amazon.com Review
Establishing and understanding boundaries are crucial to the success of a marriage, according to authors Cloud and Townsend, who cowrote the award-winning and biblically-based book Boundaries. For example, boundaries help us know where one person ends and the additional starts, the authors aver: “Once we know the boundaries, we know who should be owning the problem we are wrestling with,” they write. “This issue of ownership is vital to any relationship, especially marriage.” But more significantly, couples need to aver and take responsibility for the “treasures that lie within their individual limits,” such as: “feelings, attitudes, behaviors, choices, limits, desires, thoughts, values, talents, and like.” Based on the book that elevated them to national prominence, Cloud and Townsend caution readers not to use this self-help manifesto as a means to change one’s spouse. Rather, this is a book about taking responsibility for oneself in all aspects of life, but especially within the boundaries of marital commitment.
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I was very disappointed in this book, as most of the information in it seemed so obvious. I would recommend it only to people who have no knowledge whatsoever of how to tell to others.
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
How many more “experts” are going to give selfish advice to married couples? Our lives are supposed to exemplify Christ’s, who gave all He had for His Bride. How can we do less? Aside from the rave reviews, I hear of ruined marriages, ungodly counsel, and selfish attitudes, promoted by the principles espoused in this book.
As the mother of eight, I judge I have the right to speak out about this fake teaching, promoted by this book, of “boundaries”. I have heard some extremely selfish counsel, comments, and rough situations coming out of its principles, applied.
We are to be Warriors for Christ, turn the additional cheek, overlook a misconduct, forgive one another, and lay down our lives for each additional. We are taught to die to self, and place additional’s needs before our own.
Please do not reflect that the nonstop quoting of Scripture in a book makes its message right. Satan quoted Scripture to Jesus, remember? Jesus answered with – “It is written…” I say – “It is written…Greater like hath no man, than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” and we are told that if we are compelled to go a mile, go two. Certainly not taught to set up boundaries, but that the 2 become 1, and I judge the authors are to be held accountable, for putting asunder many marriages. – E. K. S., Florida
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
The authors of this book need to get out of the physco-babble and into an english class. While the concepts of the book are sound (and helpful), it is regularly hard to get past their poor english to the points they are attempting to make. Be prepared to wade through the unnecessary words.
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
By focusing on the separateness of the two individuals in unifying marriage, this book will only encourage the divisions that it seeks to stop. Claiming a form of biblicalness by referring to biblical passages but missing the biblical model of marriage, they write a book that will harm many a Christian marriage. Their thesis is that many of the post marital problems comes because Christian couples naively assume that when two become one they will truly be that: one. No, they say, they remain to be two and the only way to keep the troubles out are to define boundaries of each’s individuality from the onset.
You hear none of this in the Bible. Rather you read, ‘What God has joined together let no man separate.’ Marriage is designed by God to be a supernatural unifying to two individuals, much like in the trinity, indeed the best picture of this unity that the world can see. ‘Husbands, like your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.’ A selfless like by the spouse will keep conflicts to a minimum because he leads, not by following his own desires, but by looking out for her best interest. ‘Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the spouse is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.’
Rather than adage that our conflicts are because we are rebelliously living outside of God’s plot for marriage, ‘Boundaries in Marriage’ says that we just need to give each additional their space. Some of the suggestions are wise and would help to make a more godly marriage, but not because we are honoring each others’ individuality, but because they involved thinking of the additional.
If you are just newly married or have been married for a while and are looking for some practical advice on building your marriage a better agent for God’s glory I would recommend:
For wives – The Brilliant Wife: A Biblical Perspective by Martha Peace
For husbands – Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God by C.J. Mahaney
For couples – Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson (although I do not agree with one-size-fits-all applications on areas such as homeschooling).
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
I had distress understanding what the boundaries concept is and how to apply it. I have since read works by Eric Berne, William Glasser and Albert Ellis which were straightforward and very helpful.
Reader’s Rating: 2 / 5