Boundaries
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Product Description
This audio version of the book presents a biblical treatment of boundaries, identifies how boundaries are developed, and how they become injured. It also shows Christian misconceptions of the function and purpose of boundaries and provides a program for developing and maintaining healthy limits. Read by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.
2 cassettes.Amazon.com Review
In order to call themselves excellent Christians, many people have drawn overly flexible boundaries (unwilling to say no, permanently accommodating others’ needs) or overly rigid boundaries (to the point of being righteous and judgmental). Psychologists and inspirational speakers Cloud and Townsend show readers how to set reasonable boundaries in order to follow the right path of Christianity. This book has become immensely well loved, most likely because it makes personal boundaries simpler to define and is filled with spiritual purpose. Some cautions: the format can be overly self-helpish for such a complex discussion and the authors at one point imply that judicious spankings may be an acceptable form of setting boundaries with children. But, many Christians will probably find themselves grateful for this biblical context of boundaries. –Gail Hudson
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Biblical quotes and elementary school writing did not meet my adult expectations for discussing boundaries.
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
I don’t know what Jesus this Dr. Stewart reads about in the gospels — perhaps the Jesus of “Happiness is a Warm Fuzzy Jesus.” She should read People Of The Lie by M. Scott Peck. All people don’t deserve open unconditional entry into your life or unconditional long-suffering like. There is an ENEMY, folks, and he/it will wreak havoc with your life if you don’t discern what spirit(s) people are operating under. And there is also the FLESH controlling what some people say and do, and just as we are to make no provision for the flesh and its lusts in our own lives (Romans), we need to be careful about feeding the carnal appetites and destructive behaviors of others. Jesus cast out demons; He told people to repent; He met people on the terms on which they should be met. Paul turned a believer over to satan because of his misbehavior. “Let’s be a doormat for Jesus” is not spiritual — it is just as fleshly as being hateful and putting up WRONG boundaries. Jesus’s God authored the Ancient Tribute, and Jesus endorsed its teachings, and the book of Proverbs has much wisdom that can be applied today, too. It speaks of fools and sluggards and liars and evil people, people who misuse others, etc., and tells how to deal with and respond to them.
Reader’s Rating: 3 / 5
This book was highly recommended to me by a female in-law who later turned out to be an appalling control freak with zero respect for others’ boundaries.
She ruthlessly used the material in the book as a weapon to invade and disrespect others.
I’m worried that kind of thing is all too common in the self help world. People who reflect they are “too kind, too giving” are regularly nothing of the kind. People who feel they are weak are regularly tyrants.
People who feel their boundaries are too weak regularly run all over others in reality.
The individual I referred to above is still choosing all her daughter’s clothes at nearly 15 years ancient. For some reason the daughter finds this infuriating.
As for the actual material in the book I establish it shallow and vacuous.
If a name recommends this book, run – do not walk – to a safer place.
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
What a dreadful book. I had no thought when I bought it that it would be so clogged and bogged down with relgious rubbish. I finished up ripping one page out of it which was useful and throwing the rest of the book away. It’s unusual for me to ‘trash’ a book. If you can get past the religious garbage – there were some excellent thoughts in there but very simplistic. It is fleeting on actual practical help and could have done with more ways to really realign boundaries.
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5
I am a psychologist, and am writing this review as a excellent-natured warning to patrons to be informed. Certain authors pretend to be spokespersons for psychology who are really anything but, and who (in this case) seem to really know very small about the study of psychology. Boundaries, a bestseller, has absolutely nothing to do whatsoever at all with sound clinical practice. It is nothing but Christian evangelism and apologetics. It references no studies, and has no research or evidence to back its claims. It is simply a book that tries to use the Bible and a narrow interpretation of Christianity to advance a certain religious viewpoint. It is silly fluff that might make a name of faith feel warm and fuzzy for awhile, but is not likely to instigate any vital behavioral change or substantive and meaningful improvement. If this is what you are looking for, then more power to you. But beware, if you are really looking for what REAL psychology (the science of clinical psychology) has to say about the importance of setting boundaries in your personal, familial, and professional life, as well as evidence-based suggestions on how best to do it, then it would be best to avoid this touchy-feely, religious propaganda. All you’ll find here is nebulous vacuity, such as when the authors tell us that God respects our boundaries by not doing our work for us. Such passages at least allowed me to delight in this book as unintentional high comedy. This book is irresponsible nonsense all around.
Reader’s Rating: 1 / 5